Weddings...german style of course. In general I think weddings are not the most fun or exciting events, unless you are a really close friend of the bride or the groom and unless , of course, you are the one getting married. (my wedding for me was lots of fun). yesterday two friends, whom we haven´t met so long ago, invited us to their wedding. they are very very nice people, very relaxed and not stiff at all. so there we went, A. looked handsome, I realized that at 41 a bit of makeup does wonders and I got to wear some high heels. Of course we did not know any one at the party, and for me that was already a sign for not having too much expectations about having fun. champagne at the beginning, snacks, a nice idea about each guest painting a piece of a picture in a canvas, nice words from the groom and then dinner time. so we sat at our places, there were a couple of large tables with assigned seats, everyone acknowledged each other´s prescence by saying polite hellos and that was it. we tried, specially A., really hard to make conversation with a couple sitting near us, they were nice but after sometime we just gave up, we asked things, we commented on things but they just gave polite answers (in a very relaxed german way) but never ever asked anything in return, so after some minutes any theme that was spoken about was closed. the other woman sitting at A. ´s side just stared blankly into space the whole time, just to make sure that she was not to be spoken to (and she was one of the organizers of the "fun stuff") and the other man sitting at my other side just said to me that the soup tasted good and spoke no more. and so it was a long table of people talking to themselves or to the person next to them - only, when and if, they knew each other. after sitting there for, like ever, I just felt my frustration rising and realized that I have no interest whatsoever in making contact with german people anymore, I give up, I am tired of them, I do not want to turn like them, they are just incapable of making small talk, or being aware of the basics of politeness, in general they have absolutely no idea how to deal with people. a typical german argment when comfronted with this fact is: "yes we are bit stiff, but ah!, we are very direct, therefore very honest and for us there are no frivolous acquaintances, we gor fo real deep friendship" (they forget to mention that they have very few friends and this frienship process will lasts years). I know these are all cultural differences and one must respect differences and so on and so on; but would it hurt them too much if they would soften up a tiny little bit? germans, I have noticed are terrified of being categorized as frivolous, and for them politeness and small talk are the quintessence of frivolity. but really, the next german person that comes to me with the argument of how direct and deep they are, I will slap his or her face!! I want to sit at a table where strangers, just for the sake of having a relaxed atmosphere and a bit of fun, make small, unimportant, frivolous conversation. I would like people to answer normally in a polite way and not barking, and I would like to be around people who have a bit of an idea of the concept of flexibility. so to end the story, for coffee time we got to move out of our seats, went to another table that was empty, A. drank a lot of coffee and I , in frustration, ate 2 and half desserts, and then we went home.
I know that I have made a lot of posts complaining about the germans, I apologize (no to the germans, but to some friends who are german or have german origins) to whoever reads these posts and just to make things straight, it is true I am married to a german, and although A. is very german in many things, I love him. the next post I will make a list of things why I like living here despite the emotional clumsiness of its inhabitants. because the irony of it all is that I am quite content with my life here.
no drawings today, just some photos of Rügen.
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